Emotions are very powerful, but anger is more powerful and can control you if you let it

When it comes to the most destructive emotion, anger is at the top of the list. It can make us say things we will regret, cause separation and even make us violent.

But as with every other emotion, anger has a root cause. If we can recognize its root cause, we can better control it and let it go when we come across such troublesome scenarios.

1. Let go of the expectations you have in life, they lead to anger

We expect to party every Friday evening, to still be employed the next day we go to work and we expect to get our package delivered on time. We become angry and frustrated when those expectations don’t go quite as planned.

The first thing you must do is learn to recognize the expectation. Since you are the one who made up this expectation mentally, you are only angry because you disappointed yourself. When you notice this one thing, your perspective will change for the better.

2. Create a new dialog for your expectations to consciously let go of them and let the universe do its thing

When you run into traffic when coming back from work, tell yourself that “I will be home late” instead of your old expectation that usually ends up making you mad. You will see your scenario change in a dynamic way when you just go with the flow rather than resist it.

3. Noticing the effect anger has on your body can allow you to calm it and take control of it

We exhibit physical signs when we get angry often. We can become restless, our head can hurt or our heart rate can increase. You should do the opposite after noticing these signs that you are getting angry. That way, the anger can be calmed and then controlled.

4. When arguing with someone, take a break to avoid feeling that uncontrollable anger

Take a minute and recognize the effect the anger is holding or held over you the next time you are quarreling with someone, whether you notice it at the moment or before the argument. Recognize how your behavior has been altered and the feelings that are going through your body.

That way, when you recognize the anger in future, you will act more consciously and make better decisions when you do get angry. You can break that pattern of anger, for example, by throwing your hands up and singing the Star Spangled Banner.